Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Bob spelled BOB forwards and backwards its the same

My husband Bob is just about the funniest person on the face of the Earth. His witty one liners and his antics are what is keeping me going these days. Let me share some of the things he has done recently.

You all know as I have explained in the past blogs that he is not a cook. He hates the kitchen, never claimed he was a cook. So the menus since I have been laid up are very inventive. In the morning he usually comes down to the family room to ask me what I would like for breakfast. I have come to realize he doesn't truly mean it. He means what is the easiest for him to come up with and yet still fill my belly up. Today I woke up to the box of Golden Grahams on my bed stand. No milk or bowl just the box. I ate them without saying anything. I wont look a gift horse in the mouth. He has prepared plenty of grilled cheese sandwiches for me and his favorite side dish for almost every meal is popcorn. It reminds me of Snoopy's Thanksgiving Meal. I can almost guarantee that if I see something for lunch I almost always see if for supper that same day or the next. One night for supper he brought me cereal in a bowl with milk and said take it or leave it. All we can do is keep our humor in this mess of a situation. Who knows maybe all this popcorn and cereal will help me lose a few pounds.

There is a small bathroom off of the laundry room with a basement style shower in it. No one has really used it up until now but I do not have a choice since I cant get up the stairs. Mom gave me my first shower in there since my surgery so Bob offered to help me with the second one. I think I started to smell like a mixture of sweat and leftover surgery with some bad hair day mixed in for good measure. So there is a shower chair facing sideways in the shower and it cannot be turned any other way or it wont fit. I got all my clothes off and was sitting on the shower chair waiting for Bob to get my towel and start the water. Mind you- my basement is freezing and I am naked without a towel. He takes one look at me and starts pulling out the carpet that he has just laid down over the old ugly tile when we moved in years ago. Explaining all the while that he doesn't want to get the carpet all wet and he just knows that water is going to spill out over the shower and plus he doesn't want me to trip over the carpet as it is not tacked down. I'm still waiting as he takes the carpet away. Then he comes back with the sweeper to sweep the carpet dust left on the floor. We can't close the door because my walker is in the way and an audience of my 5 year old daughter and my 2 cats have assembled on the basement steps. 10 minutes have passed and my dangling leg is turning blue- my body is beyond freezing when Bob finally makes the decision that we can start my shower. Finally!

Bob announced yesterday that If I keep on drinking this much everything is coming to me room temperature because he can't possibly get this much ice. I have been so worried about becoming dehydrated since the surgery that almost every time he goes past the room I ask for a drink of some sort. And apparently ice must be a hot commodity. Who would've thought? Frozen water would be putting us under?

He says plenty of funnies like-stop chewing while he's in the room. If we don't stop talking he's going upstairs to watch the show he is watching. He yells down the steps when that washer is done put the clothes in the dryer knowing full well I cant even get out of the bed on my own.

Almost every time he leaves the house he comes back with a dozen Dunkin Doughnuts. So far I have refrained from eating any of them but its getting harder. That chocolatey goodness wrapped in a sticky dough could put me off my diet in an instant. My will power is waning. He bakes cookies too-his specialty is no bake or fudgie oatmeal cookies. Those are a must eat. He is an expert at them. He doesn't like to cook but baking-the sky is the limit.

He has called me many names while Im laid up. For example- the gimp, gimpy, one legger, bumm, klutz, klutzy I could go on and on. They are all terms of endearment and just another reason why Bob is the reason I will get better and he is the reason I want to get better.


  1. Too funny Darcy... the shower story.. cracked me up.. it was soooo Bob!!

  2. Oh Darcy, You are too funny!! YOu have a very creative way of writing! Very colorful, too! It's almost like I was there watching all this go on! Funny stuff!! Keep it up, I enjoy reading them!

  3. I think his no bake cookies were awesome. Screw the diet and eat those for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Glad to see you Darcy, it is just infortunate that you are laid up. I will visit you next week....Love this blogging..:) pretty funny!